A note from Dad, the proud family photographer,

Dear Amanda & Ryan,

Like many parents, I think of you as God’s Gifts.

Ryan, you were age 8 when the divorce occurred and Amanda, you were age 9. Ages where children are adaptive and impressionable; likely the greatest emotional influence is the family unit. A time where children grow, develop and enjoy. Some children prosper from a parent’s second marriage. You did not!

As your father, I am not writing to try to persuade you to talk to me as I know you have choice and all of my efforts have failed. It is apparent to me and others that the Menter plan was to continuously train and manipulate your thoughts to severe our relationships. As a result of their success in implementing this behavioral disorder, I was forced to make a life for myself. I prepared this website as your decision not to communicate with me was not related to anything between us, but as a result of the carefully arranged toxic and divisive emotional abuse imposed by your mother and her Narcissistic Manipulator husband, Duane Menter. I could easily describe your mother as a pitiful version of Tammy Wynette’s “Stand by your Man”. Elementary school teachers are trained to redirect behavior and their colleges and universities hope it will be in a constructive and nurturing way. Dewey and Joanne reversed their behavioral training from positive to negative – and you kept eating their apple of parental hate toward me. 

As your DNA parent, I want you to try and understand that Duane Menter and your mother used words and actions to intentionally distance our loving bonds. Their parenting caused adverse influence over your emotional development by intentionally planting “contrived images of reality” to sever our relationships (analogous to how a parent might coerce a child to stay away from a man at school offering you free candy). An alcoholic feels normal while intoxicated and you feel normal in a way that is not normal in our society due to the long-term abusive influences in behavior by Mr. and Mrs. Menter that are now engrained in your self-concept. From soup to nuts, all orchestrated by the Duane Menter.

For many years I lived in a divorced culture. In that culture I met many people with similar circumstances to me and it became common to learn of children who were not talking to a parent. After all my efforts failed, I learned to find an acceptance in order to move on with my life. In the end I developed this website because there can be understandable and mutual loss of a relationship, but this was premeditated; it is in your mother’s unwritten prenup agreement and her husband’s marital mission statement!!

Regarding Ryan, I reasoned that if God said to the 4,000 parents who lost their child in Iraq, ‘I will bring your child back to life, however you will not be permitted to have a relationship’ – what would the parents say? I say, everyone would agree it is ok, just bring them back! Same with all the limbs and brain damage due to the Iraq war. If God said, ‘I will correct all medical problems treated in Walter Reed Hospital, however you will not be permitted to have a relationship with your child’, I believe everyone would say to God, empty all the hospital beds and let our children enjoy life. I am so grateful I did not have to visit you in Walter Reed Hospital and did not have to visit Arlington National Cemetery.

Regarding Amanda, it was easy for you to transition into your mother’s self-concept as a “safe harbor”.  However, your mother taught you it is “ok” to walk out on a man, and you did it two times. In talking to Dana, I find he is emotionally controlled by you and does not think for himself (as you, Dana is emotionally immature). When I called, a mature man would say: Howard I had two children with your daughter and since you are in town, I would like to meet you and hear your side of what is going on because it is not right for your daughter not to talk to her father. Apparently, Dana ate the same bullshit Amanda brought home from mother’s house and gave it to Dana as the main course. Dana ate all the bullshit as he believes the lies you told him. Dana is uninformed and does not know the truth. Nor did he have mature curiosity to ask more questions. You can transform; however, you will hopefully remember that you gave up our transparent honesty when you lied to me after grandma and grandpa died. I listened to you on the phone as you fabricated words to lie and tell me you had the engagement ring in your presence. It made me sick. I heard it in your voice and it was a result of influence from your mother, her adolescent husband and to continue with honesty, my sister and cousin coerced you into taking funds from a disability trust and I do not talk to either one. The engagement ring was returned to me by your mother when she wanted a divorce. I have good reason to believe my sister has the engagement ring and it was my cousin who encouraged you to keep the $20,000 CD. Your grandparent’s estate attorney told me keeping the proceeds from that CD was the second most reprehensible act he had witnessed in his twenty-five years of practice.

Regarding your children, I was the parent who wrote and encouraged you to have children. Amanda, do you remember that email? And I am the parent who is not allowed to meet them? You need therapy for children who are living with emotional trauma and abuse from a stepparent along with your mother’s subservient behavior toward this Sociopathic Narcissistic Manipulator.  

In reality, your mother TORE APART the loving relationships we had with each other. If the Mafia were to give an analogy of what Dewey ordered your mother to do, they would say: We severed the parental relationships as if cutting out the heart with a chain saw. That is a visual analogy of what Duane Menter instructed your mother to do emotionally to her children and she obeyed. Your mother obeys Dewey like the dogs I see on TV at the National Dog Show.

I am not an alcoholic. I am not drug user. There are many children who routinely visit their parents in prison. I am not a felon. I have never loaned you money, I always gave unconditionally.

I know you are both faltering in your life due to emotional abuse. I understand the depth of change in your beliefs as a result of Dewey’s “mini-cult”, a situation that parallels Jim Jones and Jonestown, Guyana without the mass suicide…however, Amanda and Ryan, I believe there may be latent suicidal thoughts?

Amanda, with your arrangement to have children with a live-in, could you become suicidal if a court awarded primary physical custody to Dana Scheffler and with court permission, he was allowed to move 500 miles away? A situation where you would wake up in the morning with no Alia Gale or Reed Orion. After two failed marriages and a broken home life, you might consider suicide. I warned your mother that the manner of her behavior in obtaining a divorce was going to severely limit your ability to find a meaningful long-term relationship. Unfortunately, I was right. However, this resulted because your mother obeyed Dewey, the “Jim Jones” of her life. A judge might say to you, Amanda, you have not exhibited emotional long-term stability in having two failed marriages and subsequently chose to have two children out of wedlock. As a result, the court hereby finds Dana Scheffler to be the more stable and emotionally competent parent and worthy of primary physical custody. That could happen!!

Ryan, you obtained a vasectomy due to the emotional chaos Duane Menter brought into your life. Without your reckless mother, you would be married with children. The children you wanted in your life. You know how much I love you and how much I enjoy parenting. It was a natural fit for you to want children. You dated women with children. Duane Menter taught you not to value life. Duane Menter is “White Trash”.

Like your mother and not intended in a derogatory manner, you both have the same personality flaw of not being able to communicate feelings. Neither one has ever called to discuss why you were upset or angry with me. I believe it is highly unusual for a child to sever a relationship with a nurturing parent. Your inability to call and talk to me is analogous to your mother meeting me in the foyer and saying, “I want a divorce”, and when I said “why”, your mother said “JUST BECAUSE”. Is that a societal norm of communication regarding the dissolution of a marriage with children? Those were the first two emotionally abusive words uttered toward each of you – “Just Because”.

Regarding Money: Whatever money Dewey gave you from his mother’s purse was an emotional bribe with a subtle implication that you would continue to allow the Narcissistic Manipulator to be your surrogate parent and you would continue to not talk to your father. Dewey gave you money to buy your loyalty and he obviously succeeded. You were baited by inherited money from a pitiful 5^th grade math living with his mother because he did not earn a wage to be able to support himself. Their pensions from Prairie School include the money I paid in real estate taxes. I am still financially involved with those two. You both sold your soul. Grandpa is rolling over in his grave that you accepted money from a schlock.

This story may be of value for all School Districts in the U.S. to use for improving policy and procedure manuals for individuals employed by a District.  

My final meeting with Muller Davis the divorce attorney was interesting. Muller’s father started the law firm and lived a long-term marriage. Muller joined his father’s law firm and also celebrated a long-term marriage. I did ask Muller one question: How do you think this cycle of divorce will end? He replied, by the children of divorce. He said they will learn to work at making a marriage succeed. I cautiously accepted his answer as neither he nor his father were ever divorced so he might not have had the necessary experience to form a meaningful answer. In reality, the cycle did not end and the generation of my children still suffer from the selfish and inconsiderate behavior of their parents who ignored the responsibility they assumed to raise children in their marriage or to co-parent in divorce. High Schools and Colleges are responsible as they do not teach the fundamentals of relationships. Divorce Courts are responsible as they have no follow-up procedure for the emotional well-being of the children. For these reasons and to give purpose to my life, it is imperative that I continue my efforts to form the Amanda and Ryan Co-parenting Foundation.

Let me assure the mother of my children, if your father, Frank Sheehy could come back to life for one day, I am confident he would take his only daughter Joanne to the shed for the entire time and then return to heaven.

It is common for dictatorships to recruit at ages 8 and 9 to begin military training. It is also common at that age for specialized schools to train musicians and golfers, etc. It is a very impressionable age. The impressions Mrs. Lawrence and myself tried to encourage in your growth and develop were constructive and meaningful. The impressions Mrs. Menter and her deviant husband made were derogatory and they behaved in an emotionally abusive manner toward you and obliterated the constructive and loving lives both of you experienced during my marriage to your mother. 

Dewey knew how to provoke me by calling the police and training your mother that he would be the surrogate parent and not Howard Lawrence, the DNA father. I am going to be in his life until one of us dies. In my opinion, Duane Menter’s death will be one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.

Your mother does not have a “mind of her own” in marriage, but rather lives by a belief that decisions should be left to the “man”. When she was Mrs. Lawrence, she was encouraged to do things in a nurturing way and I was very proud of her as your mother. It “boggled” my mind for years as I did not comprehend how she could void herself of behaving in the best interest of her children. Mrs. Menter listened to her “man” and her “man” wanted your father out of their marital relationship.

For fifteen years Mrs. Lawrence was a democrat and Mrs. Menter is now shown as a Republican. It is ok if you listen to the news and read the paper to form an opinion, however allowing a spouse to vote for you is symptomatic of indifference, the importance of which was demonstrated in the life of Congressman John Lewis, who was arrested 40 times as he fought for the critical need for the right to vote. One man dies for the right to vote and your mother gives her vote away!

In my synopsis as your father, I am convinced that you are both in need of a psychiatrist with a specialty in emotional abuse. It began when your mother said “Just Because” and continued when she married Dewey three weeks subsequent to finalizing her divorce from me. Not much of a vetting process and you are victims of emotional abuse from your mother’s lack of common sense and her ignorance in the getting-to-know-you-process of a new marital relationship.

In my heartfelt way, I believe your mother and I were growing and developing two very wonderful children with character, integrity, love, education, personality and all those important traits that provide for the opportunity to raise a child in a manner that gives each photo received or taken over time a heartfelt tug. Mr. and Mrs. Menter carefully took a Louisville Slugger and smashed the windows of parental love, self-confidence, character and minimized your ability to look out the windshield and move forward in your life. It was fun for Mrs. Lawrence and myself to carefully plan and devote our time and love to succeed at “our vision” of the Sistine Chapel. The compliments I received from others about each of you made the journey worthwhile!

As you were both avid readers, suggest you both read authors focusing on Narcissistic Manipulators. Learn Dewey’s personality. There are many books and articles on the subject.

I no longer find acceptable Dewey’s bullying, his use of force, i.e. Restraining Orders, Police Protection and the imbecile behavior of your mother in this ill-conceived marriage. 

The situation of our separation is a legal matter. I am confident the FBI has many cases of stepfather abuse; moral, ethical and sexual. He is rough because he is emotionally insecure and never displayed any social skills in my involvement. Possibly his hunting cronies feel differently or simply do not know him?

Different people gave me different advice. Leave it alone they will come back. I lived in a divorced culture and this was common. It is also common in the divorce culture for one parent to emotionally tear the child from the other parent. I came to the realization; this is not acceptable for me because I permitted a ‘Narcissistic Manipulator Bully’ to take control of your lives and as a result, your mental health has been seriously impaired.

I would look forward for an opportunity to defend everything in this website in a court of law. I would look forward to a prison sentence for Dewey and several years of community service for your mother.

***

Examples of your actions against me based on the altered behavior influenced by the Menters:

2018. Below you will find a letter from me to Navient. Ryan, you placed me as a Cc for your emails to your student loan provider during 2018. I thought it was an opportunity to open communications and mailed a check for $10,000. Ryan, you never thanked me for sending that check. What would other fathers do if they paid $10,000 on a child’s student loan during the time the child was not talking to them? Ryan, you did not have the common decency to send a thank you and you hold responsible Federal government licenses. What advice would General Petraeus recommend? If necessary, I will find out!
      May 22, 2018 Letter to NAVIENT, Department of Education Loan Servicing.
2019. Below you will find a copy Amanda’s plagiarized thesis on her father Howard Lawrence. The thesis was stolen from Duane Menter’s playbook. I visited Hood River, OR and called to talk to Amanda and could not get through to Captain Amanda Lawrence, so I was referred to Private Dana Scheffler who took the call and he was careful to reply with words that would please his live-in. I rented a hotel room in OR and they obtained an Order of Protection in WA, “from Dewey’s mouth to Amanda’s ears”. Another example of emotional abuse. Why? Because everyone should have said, “great, have lunch with your dad and talk things out”. The “marital Menters” could not speak in a cohesive manner to encourage reconciliation because they are vicious in their parental thoughts, yet likely known around their section of Skamania County as friendly and cooperative – Joanne, take your last “Skip to my Lou, skip to my Lou, darlin”, I’m coming for you until one of us dies.
      Restraining Order Under Dewey’s Child Development Program