I was in therapy for months with Dr. Mady Fingeret, Clinical Psychologist and we discussed Ryan as a victim of emotional abuse from his reckless mother; abusive stepfather and three tours of Iraq.

After extensive conversation in therapy, Dr. Fingeret assured me Ryan obtained a vasectomy at age thirty-one due to the problems associated with my divorce and it is evidenced by the fact that he did not want to have children due to the trauma caused by his mother and her husband during his childhood. Dr. Fingeret concluded, your ex-wife made deliberate and successful efforts to separate you from your children.

What type of mental illness motivates two people so narcissistic in their thoughts to deliberately separate children from a parent, intentionally imposing emotional abuse? Dewey and Joanne were a “relationship circus” and Dewey was the ringmaster!

Most of the initial effort to separate me from the children was by Dewey; Joanne effectively joined ranks with her commanding officer when she realized the children were happier and more secure living with me in the marital home then they were living with Duane Menter, by nature a callous person who my children did not meet until forced to move into their mother’s bridal apartment which included Prairie Elementary School’s 5^th grade math teacher. The walls were thin and I was told about the noises they heard.

When losing employment, the children were forced to live full-time with their mother in her second marital unit, a house (a home without love is a house). Joanne used my lost employment and sale of the marital home as an opportunity to work with Dewey as a team to deliberately suffocate our loving relationship. They shut off communications entirely as I did not even see Joanne when she picked up the kids on Sunday night. When I was hospitalized and the kids were in college, Joanne had a responsibility to find the name and address of my location and notify the kids to send a card or call. Dewey and Joanne were pleased that I may die. Joanne avoided all efforts to communicate with the children regarding my whereabouts. This was consistent with everything that occurred. I was not notified when Ryan was in a rollover SUV and I was not notified when Ryan had a DUI. I am confident there are many more significant events that any prudent parent would act on the need to notify the other parent. At a minimum, they are cowards and bullies. The abuse was overwhelming and Ryan decided, as he explained to me, “I do not want to bring children into this world”. Do parents go to prison for this behavior?

A most heinous crime to impose emotional abuse so severe, my son decided to make a permanent decision not to want to experience fatherhood. I care, even though they do not. They did not care about nurturing the relationship I had with my children. No, they cared only about severing my parental relationship, even at the extreme loss of Ryan never being able to enjoy fatherhood. They are deeply troubled and very sick people. I do not know if they are protected by the law. I would hope not. Very sick people hiding all their sins in Skamania County and lying to all their new friends and acquaintances as they started a new life in denial by explaining, “how lucky Joanne was to find Dewey after her awful marriage in Illinois”. Oh yes, Joanne found a narcissistic manipulator and despot for a replacement.

The reason my phone number is on this website is to give you an opportunity to further learn what transpired in this divorce and subsequently in the “joint custody” arrangement. This could help you decide for yourself if you want to go caroling with this woman on Christmas Eve or sit next to this man at a community event. I welcome any phone call or email.

I notified the Army that Ryan was not communicating with me and explained it was a combination of his mother, stepfather and PTSD. The Army told me there are privacy laws and if Ryan does not want to talk to me that was his decision. This let me know of inadequacies in Army procedure. If a parent has an ongoing relationship with a child and it ends after three deployments to Iraq, it gives the appearance of PTSD and the Army should show concern for their soldiers and provide counseling with the parents as war has a history of being emotionally troublesome for soldiers, regardless of rank. I perceived the Army would make an effort and follow through with parents when the child was not communicating. Apparently, in my situation, the Army just used my son as a soldier to fight in war and then dropped him off on the streets of the U.S. without professional guidance. I fought with him not to join and he said I spoke to mom and she said I am twenty-one and can make my own choices. Ryan then let me know that he had joined and signed the paperwork. (Note: His “mom” did not say, this is my opinion, talk it over with your father before making a decision).  On 9/18/20 MSNBC reported that in 2020 twenty-six soldiers were killed or committed suicide at Fort Hood, TX – “The Great Place”. If necessary, this website will be forwarded to the attention of General Petraeus and he will he directed to this paragraph.

At one juncture of my life I had to find acceptance for my severed relationship from Ryan and found a thought that was telling me to feel fortunate that I did not have to visit him in Walter Reed Hospital and that I did not have to attend a burial service at Arlington National Cemetery.

It was the trauma of the divorce that ended his opportunity to be a father. This procedure has always been painful for me and with disgust to know that my son received and irreversible procedure to prohibit his ability to have children due to his mother’s reckless behavior as directed by the mentally diseased man she married.

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Ryan exhibited unethical behavior on two occasions regarding money. Early 2000, Ryan was the Trustee on my disability trust for a mild form of Multiple Sclerosis and after he stopped communicating, I visited Wells Fargo Bank to close the account and the bank showed me a copy of a form with Ryan’s signature explaining he took the entire balance of $2,000 for himself. A disability trust is regulated by Federal Law and Ryan was in violation and could have been reported to the Feds. Interesting in view of his current Federal authorizations.

Ryan was the nicest young man and loved by everyone as was Amanda until the wrath of Dewey. Ryan and Amanda are in desperate need of counseling – This website is easy to mass distribute if necessary and I will hit many bullseyes, from various Washington and Illinois State Departments, law firms and individuals with the same parental problems in their divorce. I am confident I will receive much non-profit and pro bono help to organize the Amanda and Ryan Co-parenting Foundation. I recognize the magnitude of lawsuits that may arise from this matter.

Ryan on 8/29/2014 during Dewey’s tenure as

Self Anointed Surrogate Father