Divorce Decree
Signed Decree vs. Reality
* – Judgment for Dissolution of Marriage
** – Agreement
* P. 2, (5) Signed Decree: That the Petitioner and Respondent have lived separate and apart for a continuous period of not less than six (6) months and irreconcilable differences have caused the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage and the efforts at reconciliation have failed and that further attempts at reconciliation would be impracticable and not in the best interests of the family. That the waiver of the two (2) year statutory period of separation is evidenced by the affidavits of the parties file herein.
* P. 2, (5) Reality – I did not know Joanne was in an affair with a co-worker in our children’s elementary school. With that knowledge, I would have not waived and the attorney should have urged me not to waive the (2) year statutory period of separation. Given the stresses of having to remain married for two years would have likely caused the hoopla and sexual activity to have significantly waned and I believe the affair would have taken a different turn – and not favorable to either one.
Agreement
** P. 3, (3) Signed Decree: HOWARD and JOANNE agree that they will have the joint legal custody of AMANDA and RYAN, the minor children of the parties and primary physical custody with JOANNE, subject to the following conditions, provisions, and limitations.
** P. 3, (3) Reality – A divorced couple cannot have joint legal custody if they do not communicate nor behave as adult parents to the children. Dewey told Joanne never to call the father of her children and as she is not her own person, she obeyed. In thirty-five years, I have never received a phone call from Joanne. I provided all my correspondence on the Home Page to show how I attempted to open communication with Joanne. All of the individuals were in a position to effect change and none of the individuals replied to my letter. My former brother-in-law Jay Sheehy told me at Amanda’s second wedding that I would always be family; he did not reply and neither did her oldest brother Doug Sheehy.
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** P. 4, (3a) Signed Decree: Each party acknowledges that the other is a fit and proper person.
** P. 4, (3a) Reality: Months prior to the divorce, when we were still living together, we walked the children to the corner of Larchmont Dr. and Brandywyn Lane. At the corner, Joanne said to the children, “Mommy has to divorce daddy because daddy is mentally ill”. That statement came from Dewey’s playbook. However, if I was “mentally ill”, why would a woman in a coherent state of mind agree that the father was fit and proper and in addition, give me custody for the equivalent of one-half of each year? I knew Joanne for eighteen years and she was incoherent. No one in her devout Catholic family ever divorced. If there was a marital problem, they simply made another pregnancy to change the subject. Joanne was at a total loss for what to say and do and totally dependent on the asshole on the other side of her North Bonneville bed to provide a script. Dewey used a hospitalization as his theme to suppress, alter and eventually place a knee on the loving thoughts our children had toward me. Seems to me the mother might be mentally ill for agreeing to Dewey’s deranged thoughts.
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** p. 5, 3c (iv) Signed Decree – The children shall spend their summers and weekends with HOWARD; however, if they wish to do so the children may spend time away from HOWARD, with JOANNE, with HOWARD’S family or other responsible adult acceptable to both parents.
** p. 5, 3c (IV) Reality – I welcomed communication from Joanne. One summer I spent several thousand dollars to employ a licensed Illinois teacher to stay with the children Monday-Thursday at our Galena home. I took my vacation time one day per week on Friday and drove 160 miles on Thursday from my Chicago office to be with the children for a long weekend. Amanda was not happy toward the end. Joanne drove up one day to visit without calling me for permission to visit on my custody time. If you want some of Howard’s custody time then you have a legal responsibility to call first!!– I wish she would have had permission from the leader of this “mini cult” to talk to me. On a phone call I would have told her, go up alone and spend as much time as you would like. I could see the teacher was becoming stressed. I would not have had to prepare this website if Joanne had married a “man” with civility. One that could pick up the phone and say, “Howie, anytime you need help we’re here”.
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** p. 5, 3 (v) – Signed Decree – The children may spend time with HOWARD on weekdays when school is open for an average of one and one-half hours per day, when they are spending the night with JOANNE. They may stay overnight with HOWARD provided that if they do HOWARD shall be responsible for providing transportation to school the following morning.
** p. 5, 3c (v) – Reality – One weekday evening I called the children during the time the Menters were living in their first marital unit, an apartment in one of the wealthiest Chicago suburbs, Barrington, IL. I explained that I was going to drive by and pick them up to go to McDonald’s. I drove by and parked on the other side of the street because Dewey’s loves to provoke hate toward me and his compliant wife always agrees with his behavior. I’m sitting in the car and waiting for the children to come out of the apartment and the Police pull up. If your residence is this very wealthy Chicago suburb, regardless of your rent payment, you own the police when referring to someone driving in from another suburb. The police gave me a summons and I had to appear in court. This is Dewey’s pattern; he knows how to use the system to cause trouble. He brainwashed my daughter from sending birthday cards to obtaining an order of protection in White Salmon, WA. When Webster’s wants to revise the definition for the word “scum”, in my opinion all they have to say is “Google Duane Menter”.
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p. 5, 3 (d) – Signed Decree – The children shall continue to attend school in District 96 through high school. However, this may alter if JOANNE’S job is terminated by School District 96, or JOANNE remarries.
p. 5, 3 (d) – Reality – It should have been a moral, ethical and prudent responsibility for the school principal and School District to fire both Dewey and Joanne. A married kindergarten teacher having an affair with a divorced 5th grade math teacher in the same school and the married woman has two children enrolled in that school should have provoked a loud and quick dismissal of both teachers. My luck, Mrs. Alice Gruenberg, principal of Prairie Elementary School was a most inept administrator.
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p. 5, 3 (f) – Signed Decree – The parties agree that they will jointly discuss and determine the following issues concerning the children: (1) the education of the children, (2) the choice of schools and colleges which the children are to attend (3) all other questions relating to health, welfare and education of the children, including the choice of physicians, if necessary, except in case of emergency, when the parent first contacted in the emergency shall make any necessary decisions, during the emergency.
p. 5, 3 (f) – Reality – If the Menters read the divorce decree, they completely ignored or conveniently forgot the joint custody section. In the way I know Dewey, he likely laughed and said, “I’m the new Sheriff in town” and Joanne implied, ‘ok Dewey, you are the new Sheriff in town’.
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p. 6, 3 (h) – Signed Decree – Both parties will cooperate and do whatever is necessary to see to it that the other party receives copies of all educational, medical, and other records concerning the children.
p. 5, 3 (h) – Reality – Impossible, as Joanne was not permitted to call me, the father of her children and Dewey made it clear by his actions that he would be the surrogate parent to both children and that he would inform Joanne of his decisions regarding how he wanted Joanne to act and behave with her children. Joanne said, “ok”.
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p. 6, (3) 4. – I did lose my employment and was unable to complete all child support. However, plenty of my money over and above what frugal Joanne should have spent, came out of my savings, including summer camp. Amanda and Ryan would not have had the fun opportunity to experience Summer Camp without the personal and financial commitment of their father (and the list goes on).
p. 8, 9. – The parents will share the cost of college. The divorce drove me into a financial sewer and one of the most hurtful experiences was to know my children had to take student loans because of the divorce.
Money – I paid Joanne $50,000 for her share of the marital home and Joanne let the children know that Dewey paid for many of their expenses and that was simply a ploy to ‘buy the children’s loyalty’ to cement the understanding that the money he gave was “hush money” for the children not to talk to their father. If necessary, I will contact the FBI as they are familiar with children from mentally ill stepfathers and it is my understanding, they have the psychiatric know-how and resources to effectively deal with my children and these adults requiring specialized care.
For years, this situation was incomprehensible to me. As my wife, Joanne Lawrence had an intuitive reaction to undo conflict (mostly redirect behavior) and I never remember either child as being upset with one of us. Joanne Lawrence would never do anything to intentionally divide my relationship with the children. Never!! I went to a therapist for many sessions to understand what was going on in my life. In the end, Dr. Fingeret said, the mother of your children is trying to separate you from your children. That was all I had to hear and that was my last session. In other words, Joanne does not have a marital mind of her own, nor does Joanne have the ability to consider the needs and best interest of her children.
Joanne forms marital relationships by taking “cues” – attitudes and values from her husband and behaves accordingly to please her spouse. As Mrs. Joanne Lawrence, we were positive in our approach to family relationships. We developed a wonderful life with two beautiful children.
In my opinion, Joanne’s second marriage to Duane Menter was toxic and the “cues”, attitudes and values transmitted to his bride were all negative regarding Amanda and Ryan. They were harsh, rough and as a precedent for other children I hope they become illegal. Joanne adapted to those demands as she made an impulsive and reckless decision to marry this low-life and did not have the common sense to quickly divorce, take her loss and move on. Likely, she needed money to survive alone and that was a major deterrent in following her heart from the beginning. As Amanda’s father my heart keeps telling me that Dewey, a man with a sexual disease, at some juncture came onto my daughter. As long as that possibility exists, I will endeavor to obtain a lie detector test.
Separately, based on my son’s Federal Licenses, I will pass this website along to medical professionals at Ft. Hood and to Army personnel around the country, including an email or note to someone on the staff for General Petraeus. FYI: It is a fact that through the week ended 9/27/2020, it was reported that twenty-six soldiers were murdered or committed suicide during the year 2020 at Fort Hood, TX where Ryan was based. As these people died, it is easy for me to believe as the Army told me it was a violation of Ryan’s privacy rights for me, his father to participate in PTSD therapy because he stopped talking to me after his third tour of Iraq. The Army said “we” will meet with Ryan and “we” will make the determination if there is any PTSD. In this situation, as long as my son does not communicate with me, I am offended that he is considered to be acting in the best interests of the United States by retaining federal licenses. This will be my life’s work. Amanda and Ryan have a choice and hopefully it will be to make an effort to renew our loving relationships. Seems best to first communicate with me through a psychiatrist and through a coordinated effort with the psychiatrist we will assimilate to spending time together.
I lived through a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation. “Dr. Joanne Lawrence Jekyll” was a 5-star mother and “Dr. Joanne Lawrence Menter Hyde” is a 5-star parental loser.
I learned a long time ago, that sex in a school captures the public interest. There are likely many publications with interest in this story that has emotionally crippled my life since 2007.
In addition, I plan to establish, develop and grow the “Amanda and Ryan Co-Parenting Foundation”. It is unfortunate but real that this is a common problem in the United States. Divorce Court judges slam the gravel to legally end the marriage; but fail to protect the children as there is little to no follow-up for their emotional well-being. I know there are many parents who have experienced this burdensome problem and will assist in the process to establish, develop and grow the Amanda and Ryan Co-Parenting Foundation.
I visited Goldendale, WA to talk to Social Services. They informed me that there are no grandparent laws in the State of Washington. Social Services in their absence of a thorough understanding of WA State law did not reference me to the following and this appears to specifically apply to me as there is a breakdown in Amanda and Dana’s family unit as they are live-in companions with two children outside of the nuclear family:
Troxel v. Granville, 530 U.S. 57 (2000), a case in which the Supreme Court of the United States, cited a constitutional right of parents to rear their children, struck down a Washington state law that allowed grandparents to petition state courts for child visitation rights over parental objections.
“Washington law recognizes a grandparent’s right to maintain a relationship with a grandchild. However, a grandparent can‘t petition for visitation rights unless the child’s parents are divorced, separated, are in the process of divorce, or some other breakdown of the nuclear family unit has occurred”.